La lingua de Katia

La lingua de Katia The writings of a child from a thousand different parents

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Listening to The Shins.

I have to write a paper on How to Die with Dignity by tomorrow and I haven't started nor do I have any inclination to think about the subject...hmmm maybe I should of thought about that before enrolling in Death 101g.
I noticed that several of my guy friends have begun to inquire about my present state. I am guessing that it has something to do with the holiday that is upon us. Well it is just a hunch. My favorite has been an email from my friend who is up in San Fran. I wonder how his girlfriend would take his letter. I have never met her, but I do wonder. Below is the email I recieved last night at 3:17.

hay love, beautiful, sweet hart, you, what is the
hapining with you, i miss the rants a la kate, and i
miss you more, im sorry i didnt find enuf time for us
to scoff at the commons this wenter past, but time
again sall come, any way i just downed a half bottel
of the ol wild turky cause im depressed as all get the
fuck out and i coulndt turn muy coamputear opff with
again without having emailed you, so do please please
please write back, or else ill have to call you, which
perhaps i sahll any way,
love John

Isn't it sweet being loved or at least feeling needed? I wrote him back quickly urging him to pick some flowers for his girlfriend and to make her a card for V-Day. Hopefully he will refrain from calling and so far he has. I don't think I have mentioned it but I have taken a vow not to date this semester and I have never been happier. Isn't that selfish:) I just want to be alone and by being alone I mean I just want to be with my friends. I am fortunate to be working of V-Day so at least I will profit from man's desire to lavish romanticism on their partner. It really is ironic that I work in a restuarant that radiates love, where everyone wants to be taken and adored for valentines and I am so hopelessly out of love. Yep, I find it funny. What I don't condon is those chaps who say I don't need no stupid day telling me to get my girl flowers. I always then ask them, well when was the last time you got her flowers and they never can answer it because they never do it. Personally I adore flowers. I love their frangrance and beauty that I can watch wilt away. Sometimes the most beautiful flowers are the dead ones. Oh how goth right? I dated this one boy. The story with him is he was seeing this other girl and when I came into his life she sort of faded away. He couldn't stand her but he stuck by her side for a whole year because she was weak and he was worried about hurting her. He met me and I was more pathatic, well in a different way of course but regardless he left her and saved me. The thing is and I am going to return to my point is that she would give him these really stupid and tacky gifts and he was like, she doesn't get me at all. He threw away all the expensive crap but kept one thing and that was a dried rose. The one perfect gift a single long stem rose that he absolutly cheerished and held onto. Sometimes I wonder if he still has that rose. I think of him often,usually to the point of tears and can only pray that he is happy. The thing about true heartache is that it never goes away or at least I hope it never goes away. I will always have a soft spot for him in my heart even though we only dated for a few months. I don't think time really matters. It is my feeling that those truely amazing people who dance through your life, that you thank your lucky stars for meeting are the reason for living. Eventhough I can be a tad negative, it is part of my act, I would love to be positive enough to make an impression on someone and they could feel an ounce of my happiness, the same happiness and joy that has been my experience with knowing certain people.


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