La lingua de Katia

La lingua de Katia The writings of a child from a thousand different parents

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Re: For the first time.
The work seemed more like a screenplay then a short story. It almost seemed fomulaic(is that spelt right? Probably not) There is the man guy and his two friends, one is his brother but honestly I couldn't tell the two of them apart. They almost seemed interchangable. I felt that by the end of the story I didn't really know who they were but I guess that was the point because the main guy felt that he didn't know them or himself anymore. I really felt that this pice could of capitalized on the superhero aspect. I mean a mother calling a group of boys to protect her slut daughter is so ridiculous but it seemed that Jeff was torn between making it a farce or a drama. I think that you can mix the two, if you know your characters. I didn't really understand the point of the story. I felt that you were trying to create a moral piece but I just didn't feel anything by the end. I didn't understand why the main guy acted like such a doofus with the Audrey lines. He just seemed like an ass and I didn't care if he got his feelings hurt in the end. Whoever uses those lines should feel pain. Just kidding.
The main concern I have is why they were trying to save their virginity. The more I think about it, this piece would work better if you made it completely ridiculous. Give them costumes and code rings and Virgin wireless phones. I liked the song titles, but half the time I didn't think you needed them. Also it reminded me to much of high fedility(sp).
The story seemed tainted eventhough its intent was to reveal innocence or so that is what I percieved. I didn't like the girls in the story. They were rather two dementional and it made me question the main character's sexuality. Hmmm is this man gay? I don't know. I don't have the answers.

I am annoyed, I feel like the majority of the work(including my own) has been rushed. That everyone is writing or recycling stories in order to get it done.

I really need to stop being so negative.


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